Monday, December 10, 2018

Become More Conscious This Holiday Season

Happy Monday darlin!  Are you getting all prepared and ready for Christmas?  Are you shopping and spinning yourself around in circles trying to keep up with all the various holiday parties, food and festivities?
This is one of my absolute favorite times of the year hands down!  I love how it seems as if this time of year holds the magic key that naturally unlocks generosity, thoughtfulness and pure love for so many people, I just love it so much!
That being said it can also be one of the most stressful times for some of us as well.
We tend to put a hell of a lot of pressure on ourselves to deliver the most perfect and thoughtful gift, maintain the cleanest house, bake the most bomb ass cookies, and all the while maintain a jolly spirit and a perfectly coiffed hair do...
So how are you experiencing the holiday season so far?
Are you maintaining your holiday cheer and enjoying the blissful magic of the jolly holiday season?
Or are you totally Scrooging out at this point and stressed to the max right now?

I can say that for me I definitely tend to fall more on the side of overly stressing about the little details that go into the holidays vs. sitting back and enjoying the subtle magic moments.
I have decided this year I am going to step into this holiday season with a new perspective!
One that enables me to check in with myself throughout the days leading to Christmas simply to ask, ‘How am I feeling?’  Am I just barreling through the day checking items one by one off the to do list or am I consciously walking through my day and enjoying the magic moments?

In order for me to do this I have set alarms on my phone that’ll act like reminders for me to pause and take a moment to check in.  My phone will light up and it’ll remind me to take a moment to check in and I can’t wait to bring more conscious awareness into this holiday season, not only for me but also for my daughter, husband and family. They deserve to receive my All.   I Want to give them my All.
I want to be there with them, enjoy this time together instead of staying distracted with shit that seriously doesn’t matter.  Not to the degree I once believed it mattered.

After all, Time is the one thing that we will Never Ever get back.
It’s the one thing that almost everyone wishes they had used more wisely when they’re approaching the end of their life here on earth.

So I ask you today my beautiful friend is there something that’s totally hogging up your time and attention this holiday season that could potentially be eliminated or at the very least be cut half in order for your time and attention to become more freed up for the things and people that make your heart sing, overflows your cup and brings a sense of love and passion to your life like no other?

My hope is that this post speaks to your heart today and becomes a gentle reminder to you of what the holidays are really all about.
 It’s so easy to forget.  We live in a culture of Go Go Go and right now its actually a lot more fun if we Slow Slow Slow.
 By me sitting here in my usual corner spot in Starbucks I have been reminded.
I needed it too, to be honest.
Now I feel so much more ready and embracing of what this beautiful holiday season has to offer, vs. adding more and more unnecessary items onto my To Do list that’ll just keep me busy and distracted.

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!
The world is ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!
Have a great day beautiful!  MUAH!!!

Monday, December 3, 2018

3 Ways To Become Aware Of Hidden Expectations

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
-Bruce Lee

Expectations ruin relationships.  They really do.  Whenever we start to put expectations onto our relationships and our loved ones we are trying to bend them to our will or hope they are reading our minds and its a form of control.  The problem is, we don’t always see it that way.  A lot of times we think, ‘It’s only fair he takes out the trash, I do everything else’ even though you never came out and asked him to actually take out the trash, it was simply expected.
Or when your birthday gets here and you happen to be a really great and thoughtful gift giver and yet when you are on the receiving end the gifts other people give you leave you feeling not so special because their gifts are not ‘up to par’ with the types of gifts you yourself would give.

What we Must realize for our own sanity, happiness and well being is that to put an exception on another human is not only unfair but its also majorly unrealistic.  Often times it will leave us feeling yucky and unhappy because us humans screw up, we also do not have the power to read minds and its simply not our jobs to ‘please’ one another.

So I put together a quick list of 3 ways to start to become more aware of whenever we’re putting out an expectation onto someone else or even when you feel as if there has been an expectation put on you and how to get out from under that as well as draw some boundaries.

1. When you find yourself getting unusually upset about something that hasn’t happened yet.  Something you may have really wanted to happen and you didn’t ask for it in the first place.  Maybe you were thinking the other person should just ‘know’ you would really have wanted this.
I think its important to remember that we set ourselves up for disappointment when we start thinking that someone should just know what we want and do it.  If it is something that truly matters to us we must not be afraid to ask for what we want and see if it’s something that is realistic for the other person to supply for us and if it is great, and if not, we may have to find another way to get our needs met.
2.  When someone gets upset with you for not doing something they thought you ‘should’ do even though you were not asked.  Also if someone thinks you ‘should’ agree with them when you do not.  Let’s keep in mind anytime the sentance starts with ‘Should’ that in and of itself is an expectation.  So when you’re found in a situation where you realize there has been an expectation put on you by someone else you can take a step back and see it for what it is.  You have done Nothing wrong.  This person has simply expected you to act or do a certain thing and since you have a mind and will of your own you reacted in your very own unique way, and that’s OK.  So then at that point you can practice clear communication and attempt to come up with a game plan where next time the other person clearly asks you and communicates with you what they want, and if it’s something you can provide, Great, and if its something your not comfortable providing then that’s when you can say No and draw a crystal clear boundary around that subject.
3. Lastly, when you embark on a journey, trip, or event and have an expected outcome in mind.  This is different from manifesting and visualization.  All of that is perfectly great to practice as long as you remember to enjoy the journey, embrace the flow of life and remember that it may not always go to your 100% liking, that’s all apart of living.

In order for us to find our Happy, Live our best Life and Enjoy the ones that we love to the fullest we must strive to drop these expectations babe.  I can attest to the fact that I have created my own misery more times then I’d care to admit by having these unrealistic and sometimes wild expectations that left me disappointed, pissed off and whining like a spoiled rotten brat that didn’t get her way in the toy store, (just keepin it real).
So I hope this list helps you to identify when those expectations pop up for you in your life and empowers you to find a new way.  A way that brings as much joy and happiness to your life as possible.

Monday, November 26, 2018

What’s Really Holding You Back?

”It’s not what you are that holds you back, it’s what you think you are not!”
-Henry Ford

Happy Monday gorgeous, I hope that you had a great Thanksgiving filled with Love, Gratitude and Hella good Food!!!
Mine was great, we had a wonderful time together, the food was delish and the after turkey nap was absolutely Divine!  We’ve had our tree up for a week now and the Kurp household is full on Christmas mode now!  (Ya, we’re totally those Crazy Christmas people, elf on the shelf and all!)

Today I wanted to pose a question that’s centered around life setbacks, self sabotage and a general lack of self worth.  
This is the time of year where we can blame everything on distractions like shopping, extra events relating to Christmas and an overall heftier To Do list because, Hello? It’s Christmas time and throughout the month of December most of us stay firmly rooted in Fight or Flight Mode because we are simply trying to keep our heads above water.  Our ever present To Do list is crazy long on a regular basis as is and then you through Christmas into the equation and BAM its survival mode baby! 
I get it, I feel it, and I Soo do it too, but this year I don’t want to allow the business of the holiday to become an excuse for me to not continue moving towards my goals, you feel me?
In the past I have allowed an event or a holiday deter me from a goal by making the excuse that I was simply too busy to continue on towards the goal and my intention was to ‘pick up’ where I left off after said holiday or event.
Guess What? 
A lot of times that didn’t happen.
I wouldn’t always pick up where I left off, and if I did it was a hell of a lot more work to get back into the groove then I’d anticipated.

Have I used an event or holiday to figuratively hold me back?
Hell yes!
Have I blamed the event or holiday instead of digging deep and witnessing the fact that I was really self sabotaging?
Sure Did!
You see I believe that when we have a goal that means so much to us that it brings a warm happy smile into our hearts, that goal should become a factor in our lives that is Non-Negotiably on our schedule at All times, All year round.  
No more, I’m too busy.
No more I have to shop from sun up to sun down, therefore there is not enough time in the day.
No more I have to do XY and Z for this person, that party or that dinner.
Make time for your Goal.  Schedule that time in your calendar at least once a week and become as committed to that weekly Goal time like you would be committed to meeting your Closest and 
Dearest Friend for a coffee date.

That time is so precious darling and Time is something we can never, ever get back again.
Invest in yourself.
Don’t make excuses.
Don’t sell yourself short and don’t be the one that holds you back.
No more.
Your time is Now and Today is a Perfect Day to start!

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!
The world is ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!
Have a great day friend!  MUAH!!!

Monday, November 19, 2018

Have A Grateful Heart

Happy Almost Turkey Day Friend!
This is that special time of the year when our desire and even our need to express gratitude is magnified ten fold.  Whether its by giving a gift, cooking a delicious home cooked meal for loved ones and friends or even saying out loud all the things in life that we’re grateful for.
I think its the most magical time of the year and I love how it brings out the generosity and gratitude so naturally in most of us.

What is it that springs to mind that You have that your grateful for?
Is there anything that you can take an honest look at with a Grateful Heart that you may have been taking for granted?
It’s totally OK if you have, that is normal and these questions I pose are in No way to make you feel bad for taking things in your life for granted.  In fact I can honestly say that there are quite a few things in my everyday life that I take for granted yet without them I don’t know where I’d be.
Our lives are filled to the brim.
We live such hectic, crazy busy lives most of us, that because we don’t slow down much we don’t notice, or don’t see for that matter, all of the many little and huge blessings and gifts we have all around us at any given moment.
Taking the time to slow down feels some what un-productive and that goes against all we see to be Right.  Being productive, getting shit done and being the best at it.

Well I’m here to tell you today that You need to take a moment.
Take some time for You darling.
Take some time to get a sense of all the wonderful people and things in your beautiful life that you are Grateful for.
Who in your life makes you smile?
Who in your life holds your hand, gives you hugs, and listens to you with an open heart?
What makes your life more convenient and easy?
What is something you cannot live without?
I’m sure by now you have quite a Gratitude List going, I know I do!

So amidst this holiday season enjoy your turkey, pies and yams and don’t forget to tell the ones that make Your Life even more special just how Grateful you are that they’re in it.

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
Eckhart Tolle

Monday, November 12, 2018

You Weren’t Meant To Be Perfect

“The Pursuit of Pefection often impedes improvement.”
-George Will

Perfection, that’s a very heavy and loaded word for some of us.
Do you find yourself striving for it even though it’s unattainable?
Do you ever give yourself a guilt trip if you feel that you ‘fell short’ of something?
Do you even self sabotage yourself because you fear failure or success?

Well I can unequivocally say that I do all of those things.  I have found that my default settings have trended as either, I’m striving to be perfect in everything I do, not leaving much room for error.  Or, I throw my hands up and say Fu** it all.  Screw it all because if I can’t do it ‘Right’ or ‘Perfect’ I might as well not do it at all.

This way of thinking, as I said seems to be a sort of default setting that my brain wants to fall back on because its familiar, and as we all know, familiar is comfortable.  But its not cool.  I fight this way of thinking every single day because this old stinky ass way of thinking was getting me absolutely no where fast.  This defaulted thinking has made me sick, it has made me view myself as worthless, it has also made me Very, Very unhapppy with my life at times because this way of thinking leaves no room for grace, gentleness and love with myself.

Striving for pefection may work fabulously well for some people as a way of motivation, incentive, or inspiration and that is freaking awesome!  That’s great for those individuals, but with my default settings being what they are and my addictive personality I strive now for forward movement, progress, and self actualization vs. perfection these days.

So I ask you my Beautiful and Divine Friend; have you been a bit hard on yourself lately?
Have you been unaware that you were pushing yourself towards something that was becoming unhealthy for you?
Do you kick yourself in the ass when you didn’t perform quite “perfectly?”
And are you placing unrealistic expectations on yourself and your life right now?

If you are darling, let it go.
Become the witness to these ways of thinking and please, have grace with yourself throughout this process.  It’s called a process for a reason.  It’s not meant to happen in a day.  It is a slow beautiful process of consciousness like a butterfly hatching from its chrysalis becoming reborn into its most beautiful and divine version of itself.
Go easy, be gentle with you, and love yourself in spite of all your precious imperfections.
After all this world only has one you, shine your light bright for us darling, we can’t wait to see!

Remember in your core that you are made of light and love!
Have a great day my friend, MUAH!!!

Monday, November 5, 2018

Why Am I Stressed Out?

Happy Monday Babe, have you ever woken up and immediately gotten hit by what feels like a damn freight train and that figurative asshole freight train is your ‘To Do’ list?
Well that was so me this morning and I felt like hitting the snooze button and saying screw the damn To Do list, I’m going back to bed!
I find it absolutely fascinating that some days I have the capacity to go, go, go like the energizer bunny and be quite happy running around at that speed, and yet other days, like this one, I hit a complete wall, and my To Do list seems to look like its a daunting mile long.

I have learned to approach these days a bit differently then how I used to.  Used to when I would have a day filled with overwhelm or stress I would push myself to get everything done, inwardly berate myself or try to ‘pretend’ I wasn’t stressed out and tired.
I thought like a lot of women think, ‘I must get everything done, I must do it without complaint and I must have a chipper attitude throughout the process.’
It was insanity because by me not taking a break or acknowledging the overwhelm I was actually making it worse by pretending it wasn’t there and maintaining the fast pace.
So the way that I approach days of stress now is, first and foremost, I acknowledge my stress.  I witness my overwhelm.  I feel it, I honor it, and I take some time in the morning, to tune into what my body needs.  Do I need to make time for a bath today?  Do I need to do Yoga instead of Cardio this morning?  Do I need to do an extra long meditation?  Also is there something I simply need to take off of my To Do List?  More then likely none of the things on our To Do is so important and earth shattering that can’t wait until tomorrow, later in the week or next week.
I’m all about being productive and getting the job done, but listen babe, not to the detriment of my health.  Not anymore.  And the same goes for you.

If you find yourself having a day like I’m having today please just remember to go easy on yourself.
Feel the stress, feel the overwhelm, accept that its there and then tune in.  What do you need?
Do you need to ask for help?  Do you need to re-arrange your schedule?
It is not a weakness to give up some of the things on your To Do list, its just not.  In fact its empowering to Know Yourself enough to recognize how much or how little you can do in a day.  Each day is different and our energies change throughout the month, so no two days are the same.  Honor yourself Babe, take care of You first and everything else will fall into place.

David Allen put it simply; “You can do anything, but not everything.”

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!  The world is ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!  Have a great day friends!  MUAH!!!

Monday, October 29, 2018

How You Lose Yourself When You Conform Yourself

I think everybody’s weird.  We should all celebrate our individuality and not be embarrassed or ashamed of it.” 
-Johnny Depp 

Happy almost Halloween friends!  I ran across this quote the other day and it resonated with me on such a deep level.  I grew up in a family of weirdos, we were jokesters and like any other family we had our fair share of issues but we always found a way to make each other laugh and make light of some seriously fu**ed up scenerios and come out the other side smiling.

My Uncle Steve was one of the goofiest of us all.  He never had children of his own and me and my two little sisters were like his babies.  He spoiled us rotten!  He would play video games with us for hours and he would let us eat as much junk food as we wanted.  He was the epitome of a big kid at heart.  He used to give us one of his big bear hugs and say, “I love my nieces to pieces!”  I remember going to spend the night at his and my Aunt’s house and I would feel so light, so happy, not a care in the world because when we were there, we were there to play and have fun, that was it, pure fun, I loved it!
All the holiday gatherings were brighter and more fun having Uncle Steve’s vibrant, happy and silly soul there.  He kept it light even when the occasional tensions would arise at any type of family gathering.  My Uncle Steve unconciously taught me to embrace the goofy.  Embrace the weird.  It has taken me years to fully lean into my weird, own it, love it and rock it, it’s a process that I am thoroughly enjoying diving into!  He just had that special way of seeing you, almost like you could feel that you could totally be your real authentic self around him and he would still love you the same, quirks and all.

My Uncle Steve passed away on Halloween day 1997 on our front lawn.  He passed away from a heart attack and as my sister and I were walking down our street on our way home from school we saw our Aunt on top of  him crying and beating his chest in a desperate attempt to waken him.  We couldn’t believe our eyes, we thought it was a sick joke.  It can’t be... That’s not, that’s not really Uncle Steve?   We were in shock.
My mom came speeding home from work to find her brother dead and being taken away in the ambulance and her girls a weeping mess on the front porch,  I’ll never forget the look of terror on her face.  She was in a position of complete helplessness, one of the absolute worst feelings for a parent to feel.  We grieved.  We supported one another. We got angry.   We talked, we shared stories.  We stood together through it all.
My friends from school came over and they wanted to take me and my sister trick or treating and we didn’t want to.  We just wanted to stay with the family and cry.  All the adults were at our house and I just felt like we should be there.
My Mom asked me “What would your Uncle Steve want you to do?”
I had my answer.  Of course he would want me to go have fun.  Go out for a little while and get my mind off of all the grief.  Get out of the house of crying for a little while and be a kid, eat as much candy as my little heart desired and honor him in this way.
So that’s exactly what I did.

Uncle Steve has taught me a lesson a long time ago that I am only now starting to really take in and embody.  He taught me to be unapologetic about who I am.  He taught me to have fun in life and not to take myself, others and Life so seriously all the time!  Create time for fun!  Be open about my weirdness and my goofiness!  Because the years I spent conforming to what ‘I thought’ everyone else wanted me to be like was slowly chipping away at my soul until one day I found myself at a place in life where I didn’t even know really who I was anymore.  And that my friend was such a scary place to be.  When we conform we fall prey to becoming someone that we don’t recognize anymore.  That is why Uncle Steve’s lesssons are so vital to me today because I don’t ever want to go back to conforming my values and the way I love to live my life ever again!  I want to stand tall and let my freak flag fly for everyone to see, no matter how goofy, no matter how weird and no matter weather people like me for it or hate me for it!  Because the biggest thing Uncle Steve taught me was that life is Way Too Damn short to spend time caring so deeply about what other people think.  We must live this beautiful gift of a life to the fullest, the funnest and with the things that bring  us the most love and fulfillment.

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!  The world is  ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!  Have a great day my sweet friend!  MUAH!!!

Become More Conscious This Holiday Season

Happy Monday darlin!  Are you getting all prepared and ready for Christmas?  Are you shopping and spinning yourself around in circles trying...