This is a topic that takes a lot of courage and faith to be able to take a deep look within yourself and acknowledge where in your life you may have the habit of sabotaging your own growth oppurtunities in life. This isn’t very easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. It will change your life in the most wonderful way once you learn to get out of your own way and surrender to all the many blessings life can give you.
Self sabotage is an addiction and as you go through the journey of detoxing you will cleanse yourself of these harmful habits. As with any addiction you have to be willing to admit that it is a problem in your life and its inhibiting you from experiencing true happiness. If I was asked 7 years ago if I ever did any self sabotaging I would have said ‘hell no, I’m the victim!’ Now in hine sight I can honestly take a look back and I know now that wasn’t always the truth.
So as you read along if some of this strikes a nerve and feels a bit like truth great! Don’t judge yourself or lay blame for any sabotaging ways you may be currently doing, just see them. Observe them with curiosity rather then judgment. I want you to journal them. As you notice with gentle curiosity that you may be cutting yourself short in a form of self sabotagery, (ha! I don’t think that’s a word) I want you to take a look at it on paper. Use your own private journal that is for your eyes only and write down the situation you feel you sabotaged.
It is sneaky and can come in various yucky forms ex: procrastination, lying, flaking out on awesome opportunities or fun times, ditching on plans with friends or loved ones for something that’s not nearly as important etc.
I know for me my sabotaging manifested primarily by me cutting myself off from really opening up in relationships for fear of being vulnerable and then being rejected. So because of some of my past stuff I carried around that fear with me into my present and it stopped me dead in my tracks every single time. No growth for me until I could take an honest no bull shit look at it on that paper.
It doesn’t matter if you tend to be a loner in or not, we all crave human connection. I used to think I didn’t need any friends, I have my husband and daughter and that’s all I thought I’d ever need.
But that is a very skewed way of me to think because we can’t be everything for one person. For instance my husband cannot be my mentor, bff, shopping buddy, fashion coordinator, and lover! He would be exhausted and I would be wearing basketball shorts and a Cavs t-shirt most days.
So lets work together beautiful peeps on this self sabotage stuff. Lets have the guts and courage to take an honest look at our sabbotagery ways, write them down, accept that we do them and work on building more heathy loving habits in their place.
Please leave me some feedback if this was helpful to you in anyway and also if there is any topic in particular you’d like me to touch upon here on this blog. I’ve created this platform to interact with you and to be of service in anyway to you. I get as much out of this as you do gorgeous peeps! Have a beautiful light filled day!
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This is a topic that takes a lot of courage and faith to be able to take a deep look within yourself and acknowledge where in your life you ...
ReplyDeleteI would like to hear your thoughts on how do you know when a relationship is toxic?
DeleteSo in my personal opinion I think the first thing to do to bring awareness around a relationship that may be of toxic nature would be to make a list of what your non-negotiables are for your safety and well being. For instance one of my non-negotiables is physical violence. That means physical violence towards me or my daughter. Someone else may have non-negotiable around drinking alcohol or abuse towards animals. You get the drift. Another thing I think is important to consider is that there is a difference between a non-negotiable and an annoyance or an irritant. Good God we all have tons of annoyances we get from others and that we project onto others. I mean just because my hubby tends to throw his dirty clothes directly next to the hamper rather then in it doesn’t mean I’m gonna kick him to the curb, that would just be messed up! So I’d say start with the list and go from there. Since you had the thought and brought up the topic of toxicity I think you may have had that bouncing around in your head a bit so I think now would be the perfect time to take an honest look at it ya know. And remember you are a beautiful being of light that is meant for all the love and happiness the world has to offer. Don’t sell yourself short.
DeleteI myself have been the toxic person as well as "victim". I have began to realize I have allowed so many things to occur in my relationship. Feeling that sometimes people are just toxic to eachother. Mentally and emotionally abusive to eachother. So many choices that have been made through out the relationship that keep coming back to haunt it. I am going to try the list and see what I come up with. Thank you for the advice and your kind words.
ReplyDeleteHere is a link to a post written by Psychology Today that outlines easy to identify ways toxic relationships can be harmful to our well being. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/happiness-is-state-mind/201708/how-recognize-toxic-individuals-and-toxic-relationships