Monday, May 28, 2018

Why do we fear Vulnerability?

Happy Memorial Day beautiful babes!
I’m hanging out by myself here at home while the hubby is working and Bella is playing at a friends house and that means I have had plenty of time to be inside my head. I love and often times covet my precious alone time and sure I’ve got more then enough chores and grown up shit to do around this place, but my head keeps pulling me back to the thought of  vulnerability and how bad it can suck. I am more then happy to use this blog today as some what of a journal on what vulnerability looks like for me and my life and I would freaking love if you commented and did the same when we’re all done.
To me vulnerability is about being completely raw, wide open, and exposed. Often times I would think of vulnerability as being un-safe. I learned at a very young age how to be a people pleaser. How to sort of read a person in my own way and I would recognize how I thought I should act or be in order for that person to like me. Of course what happens when you do that over and over inevitably you lose yourself right? You have ultimately became the person in which you think everyone else would like to see.
I know for me it happened without me even really knowing it, until one day it was hard for me to recognize even the most basic facts about myself, like what my favorite food was or what my favorite hobby was, or even my favorite book. My life had so easily become like a front. The older I got the better I had become at this people pleasing crap. And there were definitely times when that front saved my ass because I had many demons I was battling with and I wasn’t ready, willing, or able to take a honest look at them yet.
The problem is that even after I fought the good fight and changed my life and well being for the better I still kept a bit of that front up. What I mean is that even though I was physically and mentally healthier I still hadn’t opened wide and cut out the people pleasing cycle of fakeness, if that makes sense. I still kept my past demons and skeletons tucked safely away in my closet of comfortability.
I mean come on who the hell wants to air their dirty laundry for people to have a field day with the judgements and so on. And who cares anyway?

Listen here beautiful, this is what I’ve learned. You take your power back and find your truth and your light when you own all the past shit that you believe holds you back right here in your present life. I know for me specifically I was literally trying to get myself so far away from the Brittany I used to be that I basically dis-owned a huge part of my life story. And by doing that I gave my power and my light to everyone else. I let other people’s thoughts of me be my guiding light.  I let what others said about me be my truth. It wasnt until I finally owned every single dark and light part of my life and my story to be my truth. We all have done things. We all have been through things. We all have our own demons, even the sweetest person you’ve ever met in your life has a past, has a story. No one is exempt from life.
This being open and vulnerable thing is not going to be easy and I have a feeling this will be an ongoing daily practice I will have to do, but I am going to commit to doing just that. Especially here every Monday with you guys I will promise to be completely raw and real and open. I’m not going to waste your time with any form of fakeness, I promise to be strictly me when I’m with you and I hope you do the same.
Now go enjoy your cookouts and Memorial Day festivities and I will talk to you again next Monday beauties! (Also if you feel so inclined hit the follow button and that will give you email updates every Monday when there is a new blog post. If you have any questions at all please don’t hesitate to ask them. This is my first blog I’m brand new at this and I could use all the feedback I can get!) MUAH!

Monday, May 21, 2018

The Importance of having a Self Love Practice

Happy Monday my lovelies! Today is gloomy and yucky here where I live, you know one of those grey outcast days that just seem to suck the life right out of ya, and it took everything in me to get up, get my daughter off to school let alone my other various morning rituals I can’t seem to function without. We all have our off days, our days when we need to just stay in the bed and give ourselves the permission to just relax.
It felt like the perfect day to discuss the importance of having a self love practice. When all we want to do is lay back down in the bed and tell life to wait, we’ll join back in tomorrow, I feel that is our souls’ way of telling us its time to slow down, show some love to yourself so that you can keep going at this crazy pace you’ve got me going in. We’ve gotten so used to multi-tasking, staying busy, and ignoring our bodies warning signals and then we get totally burnt out and turn into grouchy little brats. At least that’s what happens to me when I don’t take time out of my busy schedule to show myself some love.
I feel you if your thinking your too busy to add in one more thing to your schedule. I get it. I’ve been there, in fact that’s what I’d been saying for years but you know what? I got so sick of feeling like I was on a hamster wheel of life constantly moving yet I felt like I wasn’t truly getting anywhere. Once you commit to doing something special for you every single day, you will start to notice not only the huge blessings that is all around you everyday but you’ll also start to notice all the tiny little blessings we skip over throughout the day because we’re on that hamster wheel going round and round and we’re not paying attention to anything out of our peripheral.
Having a self love practice can look however you want it to. It’s time for you to reflect on the things that light you up. What is it that you wished you had more time for? Is it golfing, working out, walking the dog, going for a run, yoga, meditation, a nice warm bath? Take some time now to think about what you picture yourself doing that makes you feel warm and fuzzy and happy. Maybe you don’t have a clue yet what it is and your racking your brain and nothing comes to mind. That’s cool! You get to go experiment! That’s exactly what I had to do until I found what it was that is now my self love practice. It is like food for your soul. So if your going to experiment take about a week doing the same thing and see how it feels.
For instance try a yoga class for a week, or go for a walk every evening for a week, or get up and meditate every morning for a week. Whatever you decide just do it. Put your heart into this and commit to show up for yourself and put you first by starting with this one practice of your choice that is only yours. This is your way of saying to yourself, ‘you matter, your worthy of this and I’m going to take care of you’ because its no one else’s job to take care of us beauties, that’s all up to us.
So right now I want you to pick a time of day that would be realistic for you to stick to every singe day and schedule it in. Literally put a reminder on your phone, set an alarm, whatever works best for you. I want you to make this promise to yourself and mean it.
My self love practice takes me about an hour every morning but it doesn’t have to take you that long, honestly if you want to start by allotting yourself 15 minutes for your practice, great!
Just get going with it love bug. And give it your all!
If you found this helpful or inspiring in any way it would light up my heart to hear how you implement your self love practice in the comments below!
Next week we are going to be discussing vulnerability and why we fear it so much, come back and visit so we can grow together!
Choose you, choose love!

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Self Sabotage

This is a topic that takes a lot of courage and faith to be able to take a deep look within yourself and acknowledge where in your life you may have the habit of sabotaging your own growth oppurtunities in life. This isn’t very easy and it doesn’t happen overnight. It will change your life in the most wonderful way once you learn to get out of your own way and surrender to all the many blessings life can give you.
Self sabotage is an addiction and as you go through the journey of detoxing you will cleanse yourself of these harmful habits. As with any addiction you have to be willing to admit that it is a problem in your life and its inhibiting you from experiencing true happiness. If I was asked 7 years ago if I ever did any self sabotaging I would have said ‘hell no, I’m the victim!’ Now in hine sight I can honestly take a look back and I know now that wasn’t always the truth.
So as you read along if some of this strikes a nerve and feels a bit like truth great! Don’t judge yourself or lay blame for any sabotaging ways you may be currently doing, just see them. Observe them with curiosity rather then judgment. I want you to journal them. As you notice with gentle curiosity that you may be cutting yourself short in a form of self sabotagery, (ha! I don’t think that’s a word) I want you to take a look at it on paper. Use your own private journal that is for your eyes only and write down the situation you feel you sabotaged.
It is sneaky and can come in various yucky forms ex: procrastination, lying, flaking out on awesome opportunities or fun times, ditching on plans with friends or loved ones for something that’s not nearly as important etc.
I know for me my sabotaging manifested primarily by me cutting myself off from really opening up in relationships for fear of being vulnerable and then being rejected. So because of some of my past stuff I carried around that fear with me into my present and it stopped me dead in my tracks every single time. No growth for me until I could take an honest no bull shit look at it on that paper.
It doesn’t matter if you tend to be a loner in or not, we all crave human connection. I used to think I didn’t need any friends, I have my husband and daughter and that’s all I thought I’d ever need.
But that is a very skewed way of me to think because we can’t be everything for one person. For instance my husband cannot be my mentor, bff, shopping buddy, fashion coordinator, and lover! He would be exhausted and I would be wearing basketball shorts and a Cavs t-shirt most days.
So lets work together beautiful peeps on this self sabotage stuff. Lets have the guts and courage to take an honest look at our sabbotagery ways, write them down, accept that we do them and work on building more heathy loving habits in their place.
Please leave me some feedback if this was helpful to you in anyway and also if there is any topic in particular you’d like me to touch upon here on this blog. I’ve created this platform to interact with you and to be of service in anyway to you. I get as much out of this as you do gorgeous peeps! Have a beautiful light filled day!

Transcending Shame into Acceptance

Hey beauties today I want to broach the subject of shame. It is such an icky, nasty feeling that can keep us stuck and crippled for a very long time. We all have stuff that happened as we were growing up and even in our adulthood that we may still be holding onto and not even realize. Shame is an emotion that provokes denial and when we deny something we are in a total state of non acceptance with ourselves and our experiences.
When this starts to happen and unfortunately a lot of times it happens without us even knowing, we lie to ourselves and we choose not to honor our past wounds or experiences. Basically we’re saying to ourselves we only accept ‘the good parts’ and we are unwilling to own and honor those parts we perceive as ‘bad.’ We tell ourselves I don’t accept that happened, I’m better now, and we cut ourselves short by denying ourselves of full and complete happiness. Well that is not going to work, believe me I’ve tried.
Because of my own past transgressions I was so determined to be better, do better, feel better, that I began to deny certain parts of myself as my truth. Of course in order to grow we must stay present in our lives and not dwell in the past but listen up gorgeous, you must honor ALL of you! Good, bad, ugly, indifferent. All of it! We all have a story. We all have past stuff, its ok.
The key is not to let it hold you back from your greatness, your light.
It’s funny I thought by denying certain parts of myself  I was being who I was supposed to be, and sure, I was. But I wasn’t being who I was Meant to be. And wow am I happy that I finally woke up!
I am meant to be right here with you on this journey. I’m working on writing my first book and this blog is my way to connect with you even sooner! That is what I am dying to do! Connect with you on a deeper level and bring love to this blog each and every week!
My mission here is to bring you a new topic every week that we can discuss and work on together. I don’t have all the answers but I plan to share with you every single tool and trick that I have found to step into my own light and live with an abundancey of love and meaning.
So please let me know if there is any specific topic you’d like to air out and work on (you can do it anonymously if you prefer)
I am here to bring light and love in any capacity possible.

Why It’s So Important To Nourish Our Relationships

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