Monday, December 17, 2018

Creating You Time

“You will never find time for anything.  If you want time you must make it.”
~Charles Buxton

Is there something you’ve been wanting to try but feel foolish taking that time away from your kids, husband, work or household duties?
Is there times when you feel so damned burnt out, overwhelmed and stressed with the massive amount of responsibilities you have on a daily basis therefore when someone says you must ‘make’ time for yourself you kinda want to punch said person because, “How the hell will that ever work Sherlock?”

OK, I totally get it.
You are busy.  Most of us live our lives filled to the brim with work, kids activities, duties and responsibilities that half the time we don’t even remember Why we’re doing them anymore anyhow.
All the while keeping up the facade that everything in our life is just peachy and we’re totally cool with being this busy and ‘productive.’
This was Sooo Me.
All I knew is busy.  All I wanted to Be was Productive.  This is something I literally have to combat everyday.  It became my default setting to stay busy, when I’m busy I’m distracted.  When I’m distracted everything is fine, I’m almost numb, almost lost inside my hectic mind of busy, therefore I cannot feel things that have the power to hurt me.  Things I wasn’t ready to look at yet.

When I decided to create more time and more space for my writing I decided to take one extra day off of work and dedicate that day simply to writing.  Nothing else, this would be my day I dedicate to me and my passion.  I take Izabella to school, I come home workout, meditate, shower and then I am off to Starbucks.  I order my coffee, find myself a cozy little corner, put in my headphones and I’m immersed in my Happy Place!  It has literally become one of my favorite days of the week, its glorious, its transformative, and its healing.
Not only have I made time for something that I absolutely love despite all the many fears and doubts that came along with choosing to take an extra day off for myself but I’m also learning that its OK to choose You.  It’s OK to slow down and just be with yourself, just be OK with where you are right here in this moment.

So no matter what your situation may be there is space for you to create a little time for yourself.
And if your Jerk inner critic says things like, “That’s selfish of you,” or “That’s stupid for you to waste your time on, you could be doing way more productive things.”
Choose not to involve yourself in those thoughts.
I had them come up too, like a lot.  I decided to actually go for it this time depsite that nasty inner critic and all the various fears that came along with it.  And let me tell ya darlin, I am Sooo Damn glad that I did!

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!
The world is ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!
I hope you have a great day Beautiful!  MUAH!!!


Monday, December 10, 2018

Become More Conscious This Holiday Season

Happy Monday darlin!  Are you getting all prepared and ready for Christmas?  Are you shopping and spinning yourself around in circles trying to keep up with all the various holiday parties, food and festivities?
This is one of my absolute favorite times of the year hands down!  I love how it seems as if this time of year holds the magic key that naturally unlocks generosity, thoughtfulness and pure love for so many people, I just love it so much!
That being said it can also be one of the most stressful times for some of us as well.
We tend to put a hell of a lot of pressure on ourselves to deliver the most perfect and thoughtful gift, maintain the cleanest house, bake the most bomb ass cookies, and all the while maintain a jolly spirit and a perfectly coiffed hair do...
TO MUCH PRESSURE I SAY!
So how are you experiencing the holiday season so far?
Are you maintaining your holiday cheer and enjoying the blissful magic of the jolly holiday season?
Or are you totally Scrooging out at this point and stressed to the max right now?

I can say that for me I definitely tend to fall more on the side of overly stressing about the little details that go into the holidays vs. sitting back and enjoying the subtle magic moments.
I have decided this year I am going to step into this holiday season with a new perspective!
One that enables me to check in with myself throughout the days leading to Christmas simply to ask, ‘How am I feeling?’  Am I just barreling through the day checking items one by one off the to do list or am I consciously walking through my day and enjoying the magic moments?

In order for me to do this I have set alarms on my phone that’ll act like reminders for me to pause and take a moment to check in.  My phone will light up and it’ll remind me to take a moment to check in and I can’t wait to bring more conscious awareness into this holiday season, not only for me but also for my daughter, husband and family. They deserve to receive my All.   I Want to give them my All.
I want to be there with them, enjoy this time together instead of staying distracted with shit that seriously doesn’t matter.  Not to the degree I once believed it mattered.

After all, Time is the one thing that we will Never Ever get back.
It’s the one thing that almost everyone wishes they had used more wisely when they’re approaching the end of their life here on earth.

So I ask you today my beautiful friend is there something that’s totally hogging up your time and attention this holiday season that could potentially be eliminated or at the very least be cut half in order for your time and attention to become more freed up for the things and people that make your heart sing, overflows your cup and brings a sense of love and passion to your life like no other?

My hope is that this post speaks to your heart today and becomes a gentle reminder to you of what the holidays are really all about.
 It’s so easy to forget.  We live in a culture of Go Go Go and right now its actually a lot more fun if we Slow Slow Slow.
 By me sitting here in my usual corner spot in Starbucks I have been reminded.
I needed it too, to be honest.
Now I feel so much more ready and embracing of what this beautiful holiday season has to offer, vs. adding more and more unnecessary items onto my To Do list that’ll just keep me busy and distracted.

Remember in your core that you are made of love and light!
The world is ready and waiting for you to shine your brightness onto the rest of us!
Have a great day beautiful!  MUAH!!!






Monday, December 3, 2018

3 Ways To Become Aware Of Hidden Expectations

“I’m not in this world to live up to your expectations and you are not in this world to live up to mine.”
-Bruce Lee

Expectations ruin relationships.  They really do.  Whenever we start to put expectations onto our relationships and our loved ones we are trying to bend them to our will or hope they are reading our minds and its a form of control.  The problem is, we don’t always see it that way.  A lot of times we think, ‘It’s only fair he takes out the trash, I do everything else’ even though you never came out and asked him to actually take out the trash, it was simply expected.
Or when your birthday gets here and you happen to be a really great and thoughtful gift giver and yet when you are on the receiving end the gifts other people give you leave you feeling not so special because their gifts are not ‘up to par’ with the types of gifts you yourself would give.

What we Must realize for our own sanity, happiness and well being is that to put an exception on another human is not only unfair but its also majorly unrealistic.  Often times it will leave us feeling yucky and unhappy because us humans screw up, we also do not have the power to read minds and its simply not our jobs to ‘please’ one another.

So I put together a quick list of 3 ways to start to become more aware of whenever we’re putting out an expectation onto someone else or even when you feel as if there has been an expectation put on you and how to get out from under that as well as draw some boundaries.

1. When you find yourself getting unusually upset about something that hasn’t happened yet.  Something you may have really wanted to happen and you didn’t ask for it in the first place.  Maybe you were thinking the other person should just ‘know’ you would really have wanted this.
I think its important to remember that we set ourselves up for disappointment when we start thinking that someone should just know what we want and do it.  If it is something that truly matters to us we must not be afraid to ask for what we want and see if it’s something that is realistic for the other person to supply for us and if it is great, and if not, we may have to find another way to get our needs met.
2.  When someone gets upset with you for not doing something they thought you ‘should’ do even though you were not asked.  Also if someone thinks you ‘should’ agree with them when you do not.  Let’s keep in mind anytime the sentance starts with ‘Should’ that in and of itself is an expectation.  So when you’re found in a situation where you realize there has been an expectation put on you by someone else you can take a step back and see it for what it is.  You have done Nothing wrong.  This person has simply expected you to act or do a certain thing and since you have a mind and will of your own you reacted in your very own unique way, and that’s OK.  So then at that point you can practice clear communication and attempt to come up with a game plan where next time the other person clearly asks you and communicates with you what they want, and if it’s something you can provide, Great, and if its something your not comfortable providing then that’s when you can say No and draw a crystal clear boundary around that subject.
3. Lastly, when you embark on a journey, trip, or event and have an expected outcome in mind.  This is different from manifesting and visualization.  All of that is perfectly great to practice as long as you remember to enjoy the journey, embrace the flow of life and remember that it may not always go to your 100% liking, that’s all apart of living.

In order for us to find our Happy, Live our best Life and Enjoy the ones that we love to the fullest we must strive to drop these expectations babe.  I can attest to the fact that I have created my own misery more times then I’d care to admit by having these unrealistic and sometimes wild expectations that left me disappointed, pissed off and whining like a spoiled rotten brat that didn’t get her way in the toy store, (just keepin it real).
So I hope this list helps you to identify when those expectations pop up for you in your life and empowers you to find a new way.  A way that brings as much joy and happiness to your life as possible.

Why It’s So Important To Nourish Our Relationships

Hello there my beautiful!!! How are You?  How have you been? I have missed you!   I hope that you had a freaking awesome holiday fill...