Break the Judgement Cycle

Do you get relief when you cast a judgement on someone else? 

Does it make you feel good to know that someone else is worse off then you? 

Do you feel a sense of self righteous regal when you judge a person for how different they dress or act vs. how put together and normal you are? 

I can guess with a bit of certainty that since you are reading this right now your answer is the same as mine, HELL NO!

I feel crummy and yucky inside when I judge. I wish I never ever had a judegemental thought. 

I want to break the cycle and detox my judgement cycle and I hope you do to.

 You see we all judge. Each and every single one of us has judgements pop up from time to time. We’ve been hard wired since we were kids to judge.  Weather it came from religious beliefs systems, family beliefs, TV, the crowd you hung out with, the beliefs you learned along the way might still be holding you back from creating a better life. 

You must be brave and look deep within, be honest with yourself to see them, but they are there. 

I feel like I have always been super open and willing to do just about anything in life (maybe sometimes to open) and because of that I assumed that I was so not a judge mental person. Hell, to each his own, who am I to judge? Is what I always thought. 

Then I read this incredible book from Gabrielle Bernstein called Judgement Detox. 

Damn.  Unbeknown to me I guess I do judge after all. I picked up this book not because I felt I needed any judgements to be detoxed, I’ve just read other books by her and like her writing style, so this judgement thing was a character trait of mine I totally stumbled upon.

A lot of our judgements start from within. We are so hard on ourselves to be these perfect little humans and as you know it just doesn’t happen. So what do we do? We first judge ourselves and then since that doesn’t feel very good we move onto the next best thing, we pick out what we believe to be character flaws in other people to judge in order for our ego to feel better about itself. 

It truly is a vicious cycle my friends. 

So in order to kick this ugly ass judgement cycle to the curb for good, the gorgeous Ms 

Bernstein suggests that we must first become aware of the judgements. Notice if you judge someone at the grocery store for what they’re wearing, or if you judge someone’s FB post there are small judgements happening all day long, become aware of them. As you are becoming aware of them do not judge yourself and get mad that you are thinking these thoughts, simply notice them.

Once you get used to observing them you want to notice how they make you feel, do you feel gross and yucky or do you feel justified? Observe why you may have felt justified. 

This is the point where you take it a step further and you journal, purge it all out, why do you feel justified? Where did this justification come from? Is this something I learned to judge from my childhood? Is this judgment a mirror reflection of something I don’t want to face inside myself?

Get deep babe and get it all out on the paper, you’ll start to recognize your pattern. 

Knowing your pattern is literally half the battle. From there you can banish the cycle away in various different ways, but for me its a surrender prayer. 

“Dear spirit, I need help with my judgement toward myself. I’m ready to release this now. I welcome in the presence of love to take me back to my truth and grace. I’m ready to surrender this judgment and see through the eyes of love.”

I hope this post resonates with you today beautiful. Once you start to recognize these judgment patterns and offer them up I promise your life will be so much more light. So much happier, more full of love, peace and oneness. We’re all going through our own journeys, we all flow through life different and that is the most beautiful thing!

If you want more insight on this topic pick up Gabrielle Bernstein’s book, Judgement Detox, Yao won’t regret it! 

I hope you have a beautiful light and love filled day! MUAH!!!

Stay Present

Mahatma Gandhi said, “The future depends on what you do today.” 

How true is that? As I read it I thought about how simple that concept is, yet how often we tend to forget it. So many times we go about our days on airplane mode. Work, school, the kids soccer practice, dinner, bath, TV, bed. Our days go by in a blur and by the end of it we are left feeling empty and burnt out. There is an infinite amount of beauty, blessings and miracles around us at any given time and we don’t make the time to stop and appreciate it. We feel we’re to busy. Our phones pretty much hold the damn key to the universe, they do everything for us, why wouldn’t we be constantly distracted and detached from the present moment whilst holding our iPhones? 

 I don’t want to live a life where I don’t value the little things and since you are reading this, I know you don’t either. 

Listen beautiful friend I lived for many years of my life numb, in a fog, firmly detached and unplugged from the world around me and it was scary at first to feel the vulnerability of being open and fully present. For me I got so used to being numbly on autopilot in a drug induced haze going through my days.  I had zero capacity to be fully present with anyone.  I had to fight tooth and nail to climb out of my fog and re-learn what it’s even like to be present and fully engaged in my life. 

A lot of you don’t have to go through something so traumatic and life changing in order to wake you up to the miracle that is your life. We all have different journey’s we’re on and various lessons we must learn in this lifetime. (I just happen to be the one that has to learn the hard way, and that’s ok.)

My point I wanted to hit home with you this week is that you have a life you are living right now that you may (or may not) be only fully engaging with at 50%.  When you step into the present moment and become fully aware of the world around you miracles start to happen. You notice the beauty around you that has always been there, you simply hadn’t noticed. Your children are happier. Your friendships are deeper. Your love is stronger. You become a damn rockstar to those around you because you are there. You are not on your phone zoning out while someone is speaking to you. You are not day dreaming during a presentation. You are open, fully engaged, receiving everything the universe has to offer and wants to give to you right now!

Let this be the reminder you needed to hear right here right now gorgeous!  Wake up to all the beauty and priceless miracles you have all around you darling. Lord knows its not all rainbows and sunshine but we all have so much in our lives to show gratitude for.  The more we awaken to the beauty and the miracles the more we will have in our daily lives. 

Remember you are made of love and light and you deserve to fully be present, awake and aware of all of the beauty and the love that surrounds you my sweet. 

I hope you have a very loving and lighter filled Monday 

Forgive yourself

Happy Monday beautiful friends! This week I wanted to strike up a brief convo about forgiving yourself. We have all done things throughout our lives that we wish we could have done differently.  I personally struggled with this for years, and it kept me absolutely crippled. I had this rock solid feeling that if I ‘let myself off the hook’ for all the messed up things I felt I had done over my ‘Rebelious’  years then that would be me not re-paying my karmic debt. So in other words I figured I needed to hold onto all of that stuff, all of that guilt and shame I carried around with me simply because I felt that I was obligated to. Once I finally got to a point where enough is enough, I have got to move on and forgive myself, I learned how to release it. Learned how to forgive. I want to share a few strategies here with you today that I have found to be immensely effective on my journey to forgiveness.   There are many various amazing books out there that can cover this topic on a much deeper level then I’ll be going in so I will reference those books in the comments below if you’d like further resources on the subject. 

#1 Meditation.  Hands down. This tool is the strongest and most effective to practice for your growth as a human in general, but especially while forgiving oneself and others.

#2 Journaling. Yep, straight up journal like you used to do back in your adolescent years when nobody could look in your ‘secret diary’ let it out baby cakes, use that pen and paper as a soul healing mechanism. You might be surprised with what you come up with. 

#3 Talk about it. Open up. Use your voice and let it out. Talk to a trusted friend about this stuff, it might feel weird at first if your not used to opening up about things you’ve been through in your past, especially the things you carry around with you that your still not willing to forgive yourself for. Always remember you are not the only one with a past gorgeous, even the shiniest human has skeletons. 

#4 My favorite- The burning ceremony. This one I freaking love! I’ve done this particular ceremony many times and for many different reasons, I just happen to find the most release personally when I do this beautiful spiritual practice. OK so what you do is you get out your handy dandy journal, A.K.A diary, hehe, and you let lose, write down all of it. I want you to let those damn skeletons out of your closet, air them out because we’re going to burn them. Write down everything you are currently not forgiving yourself for, it may be some things that happened years ago or some things you are doing in your life currently. Just write them down. Once you’ve got them all down on paper go to a safe place outside, (no doing this inside) make sure you aren’t around anything that could possibly start an uncontrolled fire, I personally used my fire pit and I would advise using something like a burn barrel or fire pit to be safe. You will throw your paper into your fire pit then throw in a lit match, close your eyes and say the words “I release the ties that bind me to these actions, I forgive,  I accept me, I love myself for all that I was, all that I am, and all that I will become.” Feel the words wash over you as the paper burns to a crisp. It’s done. Take a deep breath, make sure your flame is safely burned out, and your done. 

What is your Purpose?

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it.” Gautama Buddha

Do you know what your purpose on this big ole earth is?  Have you found the thing that lights you up like a freaking crazy person? That thing that makes you want to shout out loud I love what I do! I love what my soul was put on this earth to create! You get so excited about it you talk to everyone about it, even your little chihuahua! HeHe!

If you haven’t fallen head over heels in love with your purpose or you still don’t know exactly what that is, don’t fret! It’s time for you to go on a journey! 

I thought I knew my purpose, I was fairly happy with the way that things were going in my life honestly. I had so much I was grateful for, healthy daughter, a husband that loves me, a new home, a job doing hair that I loved. What the hell, its all good!? 

But I knew there had to be something more, I just had this intuitive feeling that I was meant to help people in some way, I just couldn’t put my finger on it. So I opened up my heart and did a little soul searching. After having a conversation with my husband where he casually said, ‘Why don’t you write a book?’ It was like time stood still, I got goose bumps, butterflies in my belly and tears in my eyes. That is my purpose! I am meant to use my journey as a catalyst to help others!

I can’t freaking tell you how happy I am to be working on my book and connecting with you guys in this way! It’s mother loving epic babes!!!

I wanted to bring this topic to you today because I see so many beautiful people walking around on auto pilot, and I used to be one of them. You see we were all born with our own unique set of skills, or gifts. We were meant to use these special gifts we were blessed with and shine them onto the world! Living a life of purpose is not limited to certain people. You are meant to live that amazing purpose driven life as well babe. 

So please if you haven’t found what your purpose is yet, let this be your wake up call and open up to new possibilities. Go on the journey. Try new things. Hell, try things that maybe even scares you a little bit. Don’t limit the possibilities. 

As the Author of The Light in the Heart Roy T. Bennett so beautifully said, “Believe in your heart that you’re meant to live a life full of passion, purpose, magic, and miracles. Be brave enough to live the life of your dreams according to your vision and purpose instead of the expectations and opinions of others.” 

That’s some powerful stuff right there. I hope you go onto have a beautiful day friends, and please comment and let me know if this was helpful to you or if it sparked a light inside you, MUAH!